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Let's see.. I haven't posted an actual entry since August 28th.

Not even a week after that I found out my Mom has cancer.

It was at that point I kind of forced myself into this "searching for myself state". Cheesey, yeah, but these past 2 months or so, since I found out she had cancer, have been very eye opening to me.

I've always wanted to talk about it in here. How I felt, what I was thinking.. but not only was it very difficult to express, but I just would rather keep it to myself. Mostly because I didn't like to think about it.

She's okay. She was in the hospital for about a month, was home for 3 weeks or so, and is back in the hospital for more treatment. We're not really sure how long she will need treatment, but hey, as long as she gets better.

I kind of hid from updating mostly because I didn't know where to begin. Lots has happened. But, I figured what would be best is to give a very quick run down.

I can drive now.
Jessie and I are great.
I have a new found motivation for school.
I'm poor as hell.

I've also been planning things a lot lately. A great escape, if you will. I've decided that I am sticking with the 2 years at AiP I am currently in. I sort of don't have much of a choice due to the way my loans were handled.. because I'll be paying out my ass when I finish these 2 years, but honestly I could get that figured out if I wanted to continue 4. The main purpose for this is that I want to start my life. Jumping the gun? No. I don't think so. I'm doing the final 2 years, I swear it, but just not now. I want a solid footing before I do anything further like that. I can't live with my parents another 2 years.. and I can't move out if I'm still going to school. It's just like that. I honestly feel like I'm ready to begin, and in retrospect, I'm glad I chose to do 2 years. Ok.. so.. I won't be as skilled as I would like to be.. and maybe I won't be ready to start a steady job in the Graphic Design field.. but I'm confident. I'm confident that with alittle experience I will be just fine. Meaning.. the plan is to jump straight into freelancing hardcore the second I get out of school. The idea behind that is to get REAL experience and maybe use that to get an actual Graphic Design Job. Granted.. it's very possible to get a Graphic Design job right out of school and with the associates degree I'll be getting.. but, I'm not expecting it. Mainly because yeah, I won't be skilled enough at that point. I know I won't be, and I've accepted that. But, who said I still can't stretch what I have and improve?

Ok, maybe not the greatest plan for getting out of school.. but you know what, life is about surprises. I am very confident about this. One step at a time, you know? I dunno, just, I'm ready to start my life, and this is the best way I can comfortably do it. School isn't my thing.. I'm more all about jumping in balls to the wall and getting experience for what I actually need.

I dunno, makes sense to me.

Things.. seem different. Clearer? Who knows.

More at 11.

lolcardboard

Dave accidentally got sugar free vanilla wafers out of the vending machine. I'm laughing at his misery right now. I mean seriously, of all things to accidentally get.

To make him feel better I tried one.

It's kind of like eating cardboard coated in nutrisweet. Good times.